Building resilience and training the voice inside your head to be less negative is a lifelong process. Hell, it takes time to get just sort of okay at it. If meetings and group programs aren’t your things right now, try counseling with someone who specializes in alcoholism. Whatever recovery path you take (and there are MANY), the main thing is to acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers and could use some help. That step alone will lighten the emotional load significantly. The actual recovery process of sobriety starts to get better around the 3-6 month mark, but the psychological recovery can take even longer.

Sobriety doesn’t solve your problems.

Not only because not drinking is hard, but also because we live in a society where most everyone around us drinks. As with most problems, the solution is as difficult or as simple as we make it. Sometimes, consider how your behavior has affected others. Or maybe those crotchety old-timers like to complain about life. Or the newcomer has unrealistic expectations and judges others unfairly.

• Personally, I always thought drunk people were fun, and I didn’t want my own poop relationship with alcohol to stand out.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help and let people know that you’re having a hard time.
• Sobriety will get better when you are actually open to LEARNING from other people how to be a happy, stable individual.
• Head out of town with some sober friends for a few hours to get a change of scenery.

To get better, you have to change.

• As with most problems, the solution is as difficult or as simple as we make it.
• Eventually, the stable people in our lives move on and are replaced by people just as dysfunctional as us.
• Because the thing is, we don’t actually know.
• I’d also like to take this time to emphasize just how important a sense of community is in sobriety, no matter what that looks like.

And when I couldn’t seem to get ready in time, or when my purse was a tangle of wadded keys and gum wrappers I felt so bereft. When things seem to be going down hill, you must remember that bad things happen to people all the time. It’s life, and you can’t take it personal. That includes not becoming a victim to life’s circumstances. Or perhaps you had a bad day and managed to handle it in a healthier way, and now you feel really good about that.

• Go to a 12-step meeting, find a sober group online, or call a sober friend who understands.
• But this, I’ve learned, is a beautiful thing.
• You can also reach out to those in the 12 step community.
• You can’t grit your teeth and bear this sort of thing.

Delirium Tremens: Risk Factors and Treatment for DTs

Every day, I felt sad, unmotivated, lost, and unworthy. I’m a stubborn, recovering know-it-all, which means I don’t like asking for help. This quality has not served me well, particularly in sobriety. There are so many emotional benefits to volunteer work that you could use right now.

The 17 Best Online Sobriety Support Spaces

It’s important to remember that you never have to give yourself up to make other people comfortable—ever. Whether you’re stating a one-sentence response (“I don’t drink”) or using a small excuse, the only thing to consider is whether you are comfortable, and whether your boundaries are being upheld. Everyone faces difficult situations, ranging from getting a rough night’s sleep to dealing with a death in the family or an unexpected divorce. Choose to recognize that the choices you make directly impact your experience. Even if things feel like they are beyond your control (a difficult boss, terrible landlord, legal problems, or financial difficulties), you always have the option to take the first step toward improving the situation.

The Kindling Effect: Why Quitting Alcohol Gets Harder Every Time

Whether you’re looking for treatment or for aftercare options, we can point you in the right direction. You can also reach out to those in the 12 step community. When things feel out of control or you feel that you’re at risk for relapse, go to a meeting. Stand up and say, I’m having a rough time, and any extra support is appreciated. It’s normal to feel like the absolute worst person in the early days when you’re forced to deal with big emotions like guilt, shame, and regret.

One minute you’re cooking dinner, and the next, you’ve lost five minutes to daydreaming about that one time you threw up on your mother-in-law’s new rug. I’d also like to take this time to emphasize just how important a sense of community is in sobriety, no matter what that looks like. This Ted Talk discusses the value of community in recovery further and is worth having a listen. Give AA or other recovery programs a chance.

It is not the mere fact that I am away from mind-altering substances, but it is because of the spiritual actions that can free my mind from itself. My biggest fears in life include being in large groups of strange people, standing at parties by myself, and really just people in being sober sucks general. Drunk me didn’t have to worry if I was alone at a party because drunk me didn’t abide such things.

I got out of debt, started a company that provides digital recovery, launched a podcast, and am in the middle of writing a book. As you get going, keep a simple chart or use an app that tracks your progress. There are millions of other people in recovery, all at different stages, and many are having a alcoholism symptoms bad day just like you are. There is a lot of stuff to process as you build your life in recovery every day, and that isn’t always going to be easy. It may also be helpful to get to know yourself on your own, first. Spending sober time becoming familiar with your body intimately can help you better communicate your needs to someone else when you feel ready for that step.